dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize