So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
