i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
