I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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