So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
