Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
