Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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