In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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