What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
