Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
