I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize