It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
