It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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