Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
