i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
