I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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