Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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