why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize