Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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