she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How's work?
Spinning.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
