I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
