apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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