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• (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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• (972): View more from Texas

  how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes

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• (607): View more from New York

  When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"

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• (518): View more from New York

  one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.

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