His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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