I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize