I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So squirting runs in the family.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
