Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
