I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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