omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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