oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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