Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Of course I have a pirate flag
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
