I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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