fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Mom said you looked used
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
