So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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