Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
