I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
