Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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