I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I need a beard to bite.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
