Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sarcasm needs its own font
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
