I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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