we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
