My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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