Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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