Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
you had me at cake vodka
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
