discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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