when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
