Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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