she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
