dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
