Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
