i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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