you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
