ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
