We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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