Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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