I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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