I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she told me i tasted like america
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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