I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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