I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
